Your kids deserve the best mom. It seems like there is a magical list out there of what to do in order to achieve that title.
We fill our days with things to do and we strive harder and harder.
When I was a new mom, I made to-do lists for myself of how to take care of my son. I wanted everything to be just right.
If my mom watched my child for a few hours, I would make her a detailed step-by-step list of instructions, too.
It was a full-length page on what to do and when to do it because I wanted to be the best mom.
What usually resulted from those lists was me feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
The time I had away from my child, I was thinking about the list. If things at home didn’t go exactly according to my list, I panicked.
The problem is, sometimes life can’t be lived from a list. Things happen and plans change.
I know my mom did her best to watch my son but I had this idea in my head that everything must always go perfectly. If not, I felt like I was failing my son.
I think it’s a trap that most moms fall into. The idea that we need to do better or be better. Perhaps even do things perfectly.
I just wanted to be the best mom I could. Didn’t my child deserve that?
Yes, he did.
But doing everything by a list and expecting everyone to have the same list, began to root a mentality in my mind that was not good.
I subconsciously began to judge other moms just as harshly as I was judging myself.
I began to wonder why other moms did things differently than I did.
As a mom of 3 kids now, I know that what other moms do for their kids is none of my business.
We all grow as moms and learn about our kids and ourselves along the way.
When I became a mother, I didn’t know what challenges the journey would bring. I was afraid I couldn’t be the best mom. I was afraid I wouldn’t even be a good mom.
I have written and re-written my lists throughout mommy-hood. At this point, I have pretty much crumpled up the paper and tossed it aside.
I have landed, finding myself somewhere in a place of peace. My kids know they are loved.
We have to adjust our expectations according to what we are feasibly capable of and accept that everyone has a different way of living.
Everyone’s best is different. No one has the right to judge you. Be gentle with yourself. You are human. You are enough.
The secret to being the best mom?
Love your kids.
You are trying so hard and your kids love you so much. That little list of things to do to be the best mom? That’s just a myth.
Ultimately, our kids don’t need a perfect mom to have the best mom.
They just need us.
Our kids just need us.
Exactly and completely the way we are.
In the eyes or her kids, every mom is… the best mom. ❤️